Roots and Wings

Okay - Month #4 is here and it's hard to believe that 10 weeks from now a new little personality will be alive and kicking in our home. Emma was in awe tonight as she was laying with me on the couch before her bedtime and she felt the baby kick her! Now, she really can't wait to meet her new sibling....Emma keeps referring to the baby as a "he". To answer your next question, no we don't know what we're having, we keep looking and a certain little someone keeps hiding it from us. The thought of a surprise baby is now very exciting to us and it will make the end of May all that more special....and, keep you reading our blog in drooling anticipation. ;-)

This week, because of the courage of a few of my blogging friends, I am going to share my heart with you. I realize that so often I want my blog to be super fun, have perfect pictures and share in the fun and excitement of our lives here in Southeastern Australia. So....on Sunday night, when we had nothing really exciting to share, it was hard to find something to write. I was suddenly struck with the reality that we are living life - not on vacation, not doing anything exciting, nothing new to tell. I felt like I failed. I'm here in this amazing new place......with NOTHING new to tell. With the "nothing new" feeling came a feeling I am all to familiar with, the feeling of being "homesick". How does a 8 year Army Wife still get homesick, you ask? Well, I happen to have had many homes and many people that have made my life special - my roots. When I look back at what was special about my life growing up, my family, my grandparents, my cousins and my "life long" friends come to mind. For John, he misses things like the Sandwich Fair. We took the girls to the Canberra fair - we had a blast....spent WAY too much money for the enjoyment on our little girls faces....and, it just wasn't the same. How we would so much love to be doing life with them - doing life they way we always did it and having our kids experience what we did: big family picnics, baptisms, birthday parties and holidays. How my heart breaks when I think about not being able to help my best friend and watch her kids when she's busy; how John is down about missing the baptism of his new nephew; how my heart breaks knowing I can't hug my sister when she's sad or will not be able to fly home for my baby brother's wedding this summer; how we never really know when we will get a dreaded phone call from home.....and be so far away.

It's hard to be far away.

Sometimes, even with a great husband and 2 sweet girls, it's even lonely.

Even in my moving around, I've been homesick. I've been separated from my "Army Family" now for a few years and still jump at the chance to talk to any of them - even if it's just via facebook chat. I wish I could package them up and take them all with me where ever I go. I've tried to get my "Army Niece" to move in with me..... hehehe...maybe someday, Shelby. The friends that God has sent my way....well, quite frankly, they have been little pieces of heaven sent down to bless my life. My NoVa friends have literally "lived life" with me like no other. Invested in and loved, not just me, but my WHOLE family, John, Emma, Lily - I'm homesick for VA too. Making the "new" to "home" transition is never easy. Eventually, the "new" wears off and you are left with the nitty gritty.....and you miss those who have gone before you, around you and behind you. Where did my roots go? Will Emma, Lily and the new baby even have any? Will I miss the friends I'm making now as much as any of the others? I want roots!! I don't want to miss out!!! and I feel stubborn about it.....and I spend an hour in the morning crying.....boo hoo for me.

.....then (as God is just SUPER at doing) I am encouraged beyond what I needed at that moment. I sat listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgob5afanUg Still by Hillsongs...."hide me now, under your wings...." and my little Emma came up behind me and gave me a GREAT big hug. That sweet little piece of me and John, the little gift that keeps on giving and I realized something grand about the hope, future and plan for my life, for OUR family's life, for our children's lives: Emma and Lily don't need roots in a geographical place, they don't need family picnics to be loved and you know what? Neither do I! They need their roots in a Savior! John and I love Christ, so we can give them those roots. Here's where my roots came to me though - I was drawn to scripture, Isaiah 40:31 .... Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will walk and not grow weary; they will run and not faint. ... We may be tired, but we're not weary!

Roots and Wings.....

I miss my roots......but I'm happy to keep my wings - especially because we're riding on the wings of Him who will never let us down!

Makes me feel like this....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMrAafe7Mns&feature=related

"Into your hands, I commit again, with all I am ...

For You, Lord.

You Hold my world in the palm of your hand

and I am yours

forever!

Jesus, I believe in you!

Jesus, I belong to you!

You're the reason that I live

The reason that I sing

With All I am!!

I'll walk with you where ever you go

through tears and joy

I'll trust in you

and I will live

in all of your ways

your promises

FOREVER!"

***I know that not all of you who read this blog feel the way that we feel about Christ - but there are just times when you have to share your heart. I hope and pray that you hear our hearts and never feel "offended" by our zeal! Christ is our heart and our home. We love him and just can't help getting excited about it. I won't be offended if you don't read all of this blog or listen to any of the music because, frankly, God knows my heart and knows how much the words to these songs means to me. But, I promise, if you do listen to them, if you do read His word.....you may never be the same!***