Is there really water in El Paso???? :-) I'm not sure our little pool counts....
At the beginning of September, I began to struggle.
My heart was struggling, by body was struggling, my mind was struggling.
320 more days of this??? I'm not sure I have it in me. Even after a great talk with my mentor mom, I felt overwhelmed. I felt tired. I felt like I was failing. And I was literally drowning in what seemed like a hopeless feeling - a very lonely feeling when you are trying to put your best face on and your best foot forward each and everyday. I know I am not alone here - I know those of you who follow my blog have shared this feeling as well - I take comfort in that.
The girls were fighting a lot. We were running a lot. It seemed that more and more seemed to fall on my plate, making me feel unable to keep up with any of it. The dishes piled in the sink, the crumbs started to stick to our feet and the laundry piled up (as it tends to do....I think it's alive....)
Of course, I rolled up my sleeves and did my best to get things in order, slow down and try to get the girls in a better place. The old saying, 1 step forward 2 steps back saying played in my mind frequently this past few weeks. Why can't I take 2 steps forward and only 1 step back...
In my quiet times over and over God has been revealing to me a picture. A picture of what it really means to take up my cross and follow Him. It has been an incredible encouragement to me and focusing on this revelation has helped me find a great big happy stride in my step as we enter the end of September. I wanted to share it with you.
We're very lucky that in scripture, God reveals his desire for us and our hearts in the very simplest of ways. In this case, the story begins in a place of fear and doubt. In the Bible, it's found in Matthew 14:22-33. It was the middle of the night and Jesus' disciples were on a boat in the middle of a lake, unable to get back to shore because there were high waves on every side. Jesus went to them, walking on the water toward the boat. At first they thought they were looking at a ghost and were terrified, but quickly realized who it was. Peter wanted more proof and called out, "Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." and Jesus said, "Come." Peter began to walk on the water, but as he looked around him at the wind and the waves he became afraid and took his eyes off of Jesus - he began to sink. Jesus lifted him from the water and saved him.
This is the picture that I have to keep me in step each day. The wind and waves may surround me on all sides, but if I fix my eyes on Christ, I'll be able to walk on water!!
So, I have the word "PETER" on a piece of paper on my fridge.
We had a busy month. I'm tired, but I'm making it! We are ready for October with a new perspective in our hearts. Today, the girls and I are going to sit down for a lesson on Matt 22 and I am excited to take this picture of faith and begin to try to apply it to our lives in a real way. Here are a few pictures of us this month. Emma's birthday party, soccer and Jana. There are lots of little details to share - I'll save that for the next blog. In the mean time, I hope that the picture of grace that God shared with me can bless you today as well. 
1 Corinthians 1:26-31 ESV
For consider your calling brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothings things that are, so that no human being may boast in the presence of God. And because of Him, you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteouness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
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